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Turning around – week 55

It’s been such a joyful and funny week.

With husband away the pattern of the week has taken a different tune and the tween has relished the rejigging of roles.

We’ve had the luxury of spending time alone in the car between school drop-offs (with a change in my workplace, I am now taking the tween to school most mornings). This car time has become an invaluable nub of words. Some mornings has seen the tween spill with laughter at the antics of the school yard or floods of tears over some wrongdoing in the classroom.

Who knew traffic clogged streets would provide the creative line for mother – tween conversations! I now look out for other cars with kids – especially the older ones sitting in the front seat… I wonder what words are said; what heart felt story is being spilled or recounted.

The week has culminated in a birthday party for the tween. Whilst he will turn 12 next Friday, he choose today to spend the afternoon with some friends from school – girls and boys.

Trusting them, they took themselves off to lunch and a movie for a few hours. Giving the tween this freedom is as important to me as it is to him. I wasn’t disappointed! The party arrived home laughing and telling stories of popcorn throwing in the cinema and general 11 year old behaviour.

Whilst I don’t want to be the person to clean up the movie theatre, I do think that their fun shows the innocence and charm of my childhood.

And I think that makes it ok! Our house is at peace.

All love

JPH_Mar2014_smiling

Jessica 7 September 2014

Comments are always welcome. Please be mindful however that words can 
enlighten or dishearten.
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September spring – week 54

I’ve been reading up on tweens this week and what I am learning is there is so much “advice” about hiding, spying and generally looking from behind bushes at what our tweens might be doing. Be it time on the internet (put in locks, passwords, firewalls), or hanging out on the way home from school (network of parents who sms tween sightings). Even worse is the prescriptive parenting guide (do 1,2,3 to be your tweens best friend)!

Me? There’s no prescription in our house. As the parent of a tween, I relish in the haphazardness of our craziness – of finding our pathway through the sometime blinding fog to glorious sunshine. We work off trust (that is often broken), independence (that can be disappointing) or love (that never wavers).

This week I have watched my son push and stretch his way through the days. I have taken delight in his confidence some days and then felt heart-aching pain at his down self-talk. Of the nights when he yells and screams at me and then wants to hug his way back into my uterus…

The fluctuating emotions are difficult to handle. The ups and downs seem so unpredictable – walking in the door may open a delicious end of the day conversation or a thunderstorm of gloom.

But this is our journey of love, hope, laughter and a few hidden tears from me. It is a journey of survival and stories of the future.

All love

JPH_Mar2014_smiling

Jessica

1 September 2014

Comments are always welcome. Please be mindful however that words can 
enlighten or dishearten.
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It’s August – week 53

It began over a year ago, although the exact moment is hard to pinpoint. There were the looks, the anger, the sudden tears. 

I was taken by surprise. Who or what is this person? How did our little boy become this pin cushion of prickles?

A year later, I am no better off understanding what is happening to our son. All I know is that from 9 – 13 there is this new phase, something that didn’t exist in the 1980’s. 

Known as the tweens, its the growing phase from child to teenager. It is hard for parents to understand and I can only imagine how hard it is for our children.

This is my story, my pathway and adventure, about my son and his journey that at times appears to take us down.

Each week I plan to learn and write about what worked and what failed – and perhaps this just might provide other parents with some hope and light in a dark tunnel that is not a train coming towards them but their amazing incredible children returning.

All love

JPH_Mar2014_smiling

Jessica 

August 2014

Comments are always welcome. Please be mindful however that your words
can enlighten or dishearten.