The Tweens have left the building – week 72

This is it. Today Number Two Tween turned 13. It’s a milestone, a leap and a jump from a pocket of power to a pot of gold. The usual birthday ritual of lining up for a measure shows inches have stretched from toes to head.

With this growth comes short trousers, bigger shoes and a reckoning of the world that knows no boundaries.

The house is now fully complete in its testosterone filled shell. With two teenagers to bring a new strength into the conversations, convictions and sometimes a battleground.

The mother in me has been repositioned into the friendly antics of the “Unicorn mom“; if you don’t know her, then she’s the friend you need to keep life real – kids, career, marriage.

I’m Her and have been for quite a while.

I love my children without boundaries but this doesn’t mean I blindly look at some of the $%^& that comes out of their mouths and wonder what or how this is happening.

I’m the mom that happily pays for Uber eats so I don’t have to think of nutrition and a balanced meal every single day.

I’m the friend who tells it straight. Yep, our careers aren’t amazing, however, we’re having so much fun at work, our husbands/partners are fallible and so are we. The world is more important than loo paper on the roll and toothpaste in the sink.

And that’s what Tweens Between has taught me. There are no rules and roads to follow. The playground is often full of “judgy” people but that’s their issue, not mine. That my friends love me regardless of the trouble I cause and weird cakes I bake.

Thank you to Tween One and Two, and thank you to all the people who have followed me on this journey, commented with love and held back from the hurtfulness.

Happy 13th – may your first teenage year be blessed.

All love

Jessica xxii

Jessica Purbrick-Herbst
June 2018

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A lone – week 64

I’m the lone female in the house, excluding our 18 month old Corgi Coco.

Coco is a definite kindred spirit and a lovely welcoming voice when I arrive home, and she has a perceptiveness that frankly scares me.

That aside, I am a lone in a house of two tweens, husband, rabbit and two gold fish (gender unknown!)

Tween Two is coming online. He is about to turn 10 and is showing the spirit and soul of someone firmly enamoured about social justice. The Prime Minister has become a pen friend, well friend is not the word, more a debriefer of the injustices coming through the Australian Government at this time.

This coming of age, of double digits feels strange, a growing up – yet so young.

I wondered where I was at 10? Tramping the plains of western NSW on a farm bigger than most cities, fat blue skies and the solace and knowing of being alone. Naive, yes! No exposure to the technologies of the day (were there any in the 1970’s?) although my parents did have a telex machine…

It’s the ability to grab and use any technology, to accept that it will be honest and good; to signup without thought of where all these details are stored, regurgitated and used for more advertising; targeting directly into inboxes.

Its not frightening, its simply overwhelming at times. As a parent of the 2015’s having grown a teenage life so far from this, it can be hard to keep up, to stay not ahead but simply on-par with what our 10 year olds are getting into.

We have open conversations about what tools are being used, about email addresses used to sign up; names and passwords.

As that lone female having the voice and keeping the voice across the growing up of boys is challenging and unique.

When the everydayness of the technology, I revert to the most natural of tactics. My most powerful cut through comes in the morning, the early hours when Tweens (still!) wander sleepily into the parental bed for a cuddle before their full awakens draws them back into a world that I don’t belong.

This is the true time of togetherness that no technology, age or lived in world of today will remove or encroach. Long may it last.

Warmly

in the library

Jessica

1 June 2015

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